Shovel-Deep Musings

Originally published THE SHEPHERD Magazine December 1985

Dispatch From Mormon Trail Farm

Clark BreDahl

Whether you’re a religious person or
not, I think the fact that the birth of Christ
was first made known to shepherds has
a lot of significance.
Some learned men would say, of
course, that the whole thing was merely
coincidence. Many would speculate that
it was because, by and large, shepherds
are kind and gentle folk. Still others would
merely write it off that sheep people
needed the help most!
And so it goes with the question, how
do I make money in the sheep business?
It all depends on which expert you talk to.
I was thinking the other day as I
cleaned out my small confinement lamb
feeding shed, that I certainly should have
consulted an expert before proceeding.
Though the expanded metal floors work
marvelously in keeping the lambs clean,
comfortable and charging on to market
weight, the messy job of housekeeping
must be done largely by hand-certainly
not a very scientific design.
Surely some peddler of poverty could
have early on told me about the new
waste management system that will con-
vey, contort and compact an entire year’s
production of manure from a thousand
head of lambs into a neat package the
size of an ice cube! This then could be
deposited virtually anywhere without
arousing the suspicion or ire of en-
vironmentalists. Aunt Maude would need
to be warned, however, not to fertilize her
petunia pot with it, lest the posies decide
to take no prisoners!
And the other day when it took me 30
minutes to load 20 lambs … Where was
an expert when I was designing my- 2 X
12 wooden plank that broke?
Why, today there are devices that will
gently elevate stock into your truck or
trailer-even as they lie down if neces-
sary, while all you do is fidget with a
hydraulic valve … Of course, too much
fidgeting and the unsuspecting sheep are
sent crashing through a window and into
the truck cab alongside Mother!
22
Perhaps most mind boggling is the
computerized wizardry of climate control
available to animal husbandrymen who
would rather watch Monday Night Foot-
ball than husband animals. With electrical
conduit or hot water pipes below, infra-red
heaters in the middle, and a bevy of ven-
tilation fans roaring above, it is now possi-
ble to recreate sub-Sahara conditions at
ground level while snow rages in the high-
er elevations-all in the same building!
Modern pork producers are now in-
debted, if you’ll pardon the expression, to
several firms advertising sophisticated ir-
rigation systems that will sprinkle, dip, or
immerse hogs (depending on religious af-
filiation) on a hot July afternoon so that
they won’t come down with a sudden and
severe case of dying. If you’ve got a back-
up portable electrical generator, the
system is almost infallible-and sells for
several thousand dollars less than it did
a few years ago when farmers weren’t los-
ing money so fast.
Grandpa would sit in awe, I’m sure, at
such a complex maze of gadgetry to ac-
complish basically the same thing he did
with a mud hole. But he would surely balk
at even the cut-rate price, because his
hogs, you see, would always dig their own
holes for free!
I know technology is what makes the
world go half-way around these days …
but surely we need to figure out ways to
avoid getting kicked in the rear every time
it goes the full circle.
I’m not against progress. I’ll pull my
Belgian mares against your team of oxen
any day … But if I raise sheep until I’m
100, I doubt the waste management sys-
tem I mentioned earlier would save me
enough money to pay for this long-
handled shovel I’m leaning on right now.
Then again, I see I’m only half done …